Return to [political] innocence

Just yesterday I stumbled upon one of the many FM channels sharing the airwaves of Lahore on different frequencies. That particular channel was airing "good" old songs of Ibrar ul Haq and his all famous Billo de Ghar . Wow, what a flashback of memories it brought. Teenage, rising pop music culture in Pakistan and the fun and frolic we used to have with that particular song. Above all the untainted and non-political image the artists and singers, in particular, used to enjoy back then.
Move the clock forward some twenty years or so and our Billo-Boy has said adios to Billo-Rani and has become a political firebrand. Now you can't listen to his music with same ease and apolitical musical pleasure [especially if you happen to be on the wrong side of the political divide].
Politicization of youth, women, artists, players, preachers [ahem] and whoever can cast a vote is sign of a healthy and thriving democratic society BUT aren't we carrying the wave of politicization too far. Why listening to a singer unwillingly shifts your mind to his political inclinations? Why a Kurta store reminds you of an emerging political force. A soapy model is an [un]tamed tigress of a political outfit.
From the politicians point of view it is a big success to be able to turn icons of daily life into political symbols but what about the fabric of society in general. A normal, peaceful society cannot stay at war with itself for too long. Either the 'war' will wither away or the society won't stay 'normal' and 'peaceful'. There is actually no harm in having a political point of view and every grown up should in fact have one but again should it be so highly pronounced and openly advertised that your prime identity which earned you a popular, respectable place in society gets over-shadowed by your political affinities???
I personally feel that professionals [in general] should maintain a certain degree of apolitical demeanor. Especially if you are a popular, known figure in your own right then do maintain that image. Let your political affiliations be a part of your personality and a reflection of your inner thoughts but don't impose your political philosophy on your not-for-political-reasons fans. This will eventually tarnish your own celebrity charisma and isn't that the thing celebs vouch for so vehemently?

قلم کا مستقبل ؟

کمپیوٹر، موبائل فون اور دیگر ایسی ایجادات کے وجود میں آنے  نیز ان آلات کے  ذاتی و دفتری زندگی میں سرایت کر جانے کے باعث یہ خیال ذہن میں آنے لگا ہے کہ کیا مستقبل میں قلم، ہاتھ سے لکھنا اور خوش خطی جیسے آلات و مشاغل مفقود و متروک ہو کر محض عجائب گھر کی زینت یا دادا جان کے دقیانوسی افسانوں کا موضوع بن کر رہ جائیں گے- میں ہر گز ان ایجادات کا مخالف نہیں کیونکہ خود فدوی کا روز گار بھی انہی برقی ، مواصلاتی اور حساباتی کھلونوں اور ان پر رواں دواں پروگراموں پر ہی منحصر ہے لیکن ایک تو دانشور نما فلسفی پروفیسر نظر آنے کی خواہش اور دوسرے کوئی توشۂ فکر یاروں کو فراہم کرنے کا خودساختہ فریضہ نبھانے کی آرزو، بندے کو اس قسم کے موضوعات اٹھانے پر مجبور کیے رکھتی ہے- لیکن اگر ان پیچیدہ نفسیاتی محرکات سے ہٹ کر بھی سوچا جائے تو شاید یہ سوچ اتنی غلط بھی نہ ھو اورعین ممکن ہے کہ اگلے بیس تیس سالوں میں قلم اور لکھائی واقعی قصّہ پارینہ بن جائے- املا اور گرائمر کی غلطیاں بھی یہ کمپیوٹر خود ہی دور کر دیتا ہے-گگلو بھیا ہر لفظ کی اصلاح کر دیتے ہیں اور یہی نہیں اس سے متعلقہ معلومات و معانی کا ایک خزانہ بھی پیش کر دیتے ہیں- اور تو اور سری نام کی ایک دیوی جی تو آپ کا بولا ہوا بھی کمپیوٹرپہ فرفر لکھ ڈالتی ہیں- سہولت تو بہت بڑی ہے لیکن کیا قلم و قلم کاری واقعی خطرے میں ہیں؟

اور تو کچھ نہیں البتہ خود یہ تحریر اس بات کی غمّاز ہے کہ بغیر قلم و قرطاس کے بھی با آسانی کچھ لکھا، پڑھا اور ان گنت لوگوں تک پہنچایا جا سکتا ہے- کیا ہاتھ سے لکھے بغیر ہم زبان و بیان درست طریقے پر سیکھ سکتے ہیں؟ یقیناً یہ نطق و زبان کے ماہرین کے لئے ایک دلچسپ موضوع بحث ہو سکتا ہے- ممکن ہے نکتہ دان ھاۓ زبان و بیاں اس پر عرق ریزی کر چکے ہوں- اگر کوئی دوست ایسی کسی کاوش سے واقف ہو تو ضرور ہم سب کے علم میں اضافہ کرے- میں توفی الحال یہی کہوں گا کہ قلم ، قرطاس اور کتاب سے ناطہ جڑا رہے- اظہار کا ذریعہ کچھ بھی اپنایں ہاتھ سے قلم تھامنے اور بیاض پر خیالات رقم کرنے کا معمول کبھی نہ کبھی ضرور کر لیا کریں، علم و بیان کے فطری و روحانی ماخذ سے ایک معصومانہ رشتہ بندھا رہے گا!

Taliban Talk[ie]s : My Own Pre-Conditions

With such a hullaballoo around for talks, their team, our team, pre-conditions blah blah…. Here is a much sane solution which I’m going to propose. I’ll wholeheartedly support Taliban If they…..

• Promise to re-open YouTube, so that we [and rest of the world] can watch those beheading videos with much ease and better quality.
• Award ten [or more] lashes to all those westernized, jeans-clad, bay-purdah and bay-hooda [yet appealing] women [… who refuse to have coffee with me (and rather have it with some infidel named Karan)].
• Chummi Khalid should be returned to Awan tribe [Me being Malik Awan has nothing to do with it].
• Plant those “drone chips” in NATO trucks, so that when they strike, they strike their own freight.
• Declare AFIC to be a sub jail of GITMO. [Karma you know]
• Pak Army should be restricted to DHAs only, be disarmed and be allowed to deal in real estate only. [I have a feeling that this demand has already been met .. but I need to re-check]
• Ask Iftikhaar Chaudhry to write “I Love Mush” for each suo-moto notice he took. [Paper and pen industry will flourish thus]
• Send Arslan Ifitikhar on a trip to Monte-Carlo with Bannu-DI-Khan jail breakers and all those pardoned by his dad’s court [and let Malik sb. sponsor it ... again]. (Everybody needs a break, so do Taliban)
• Impose a same-sex-marriage on Chaudhary Nisar and Malik Riaz.
• Appoint Pervaiz Khattak as the Japphhee (جاپھی) of Pakistan’s National Kabaddi team and he’ll show who the real Pehelwan (wrestler) is! [Ranay pe Rana]
• Force Maulana to wear a turban made out of denim (and designed by Diesel). [I know this one is cheeky :p ]
• Let Ansar Abbasi torture NFP by reading out ten Siparas to him daily.
• Arrange a cage fight between Orya Maqbool Jan and Zaid Hamid. Just to add a little fun they must be the commentators of their own fight.
• Shaikh-ul-Islam’s speeches and activities should be ‘contained’ but allow him to run for the next pope. [Reminds me of Rehman Malik somehow]

Contained

• Ban all those talk shows and behead their anchors who conduct solo shows featuring Sheikh Rasheed. [That rids us of 75% talk show airtime, 90% of talk shows and 99% of anchors  ... yeah!]
• Allow PTI to open offices in North Waziristan and make sure Dr. Mazari is appointed there.
• Design a special talking-chamber where the subject to be tortured is forced to listen to long distance calls of drunken-exPat-Politicians 24/7 [and put you-know-who in it :p ].
• Fly Main Sb to Jeddah without making any fuss or getting any papers signed [this time].
• Re-decide the fate of NA-125, however this time (instead of polling) a tug of war should be held between Saad Rafiq and All-the-Aunty-Bachee-crowd-of-defence (My Mother-in-Law and Wife included). [Tug of war: like they hold in Punjab Youth Festivals and to add insult to injury Guinness Book Reps must witness]
• Nominate Baji Maryum as the sole guarantor of the whole loan scheme (Kaisa!) and make her pay the interest too!!
• Shahbaz Shareef must continue as Khadim-e-Aala: We really need some more flyovers and metro buses [plus he must be given HakeemUllah-Ludhianvi peace award for successfully maintaining truce with the buddies ;)].
• Rana SanaUllah’s Moustaches should be clean shaved for bearing an Un-Islamic outlook and the unreasonably extra space they occupy. [This will not be a vendetta for making a 180 degree shift on buddies and (almost) declaring war on ‘southern support base’]
• Do unto Bilawal as you guys do unto such boys. (Haaaawwww) [However Bilawal might reply "Marsoo marsoo **nd na desoo"]

           And last but not the least [in fact the most important]:

•  Declare Immi [the savior; the last and only hope of this wretched nation] to be our prime minister for life and if he refuses this time, to be on your team … ‘upload’ him on YouTube [hence you know why I want YouTube reopened …. Muuhahahaa  MUHAHAHAHA…. ].

Immi the Savior