Pakistan: Where Do We Stand After 70 Years

Well well, there we are again. Pakistani politics going one step forward and two steps back. We just refuse to grow up politically, institutionally and yes democratically. It requires a serious anthropological study as to why, we are like that. I mean like the way we are which is bizarre and abnormal to say the least. Even after 70 years of our genesis we are still not sure what kind of political system we want. In recent years, may be a decade or so, being supporter of democracy has somewhat emerged as a fad. However, it is not that simple. A segment of our society wants democracy but it must be "controlled". Much like a remote control plane which gives a semblance of a free flight in the air but is actually controlled by someone on ground. Someone who is stable, not corrupt, sincere, sane, educated (ahem) and a true patriot. Because the free flying elected representatives are devoid of all such traits and to top it all the electorate is not mature and educated enough, yet, to choose the right candidates. So, we need someone to tell us from time to time that who is a right choice and who isn't. By chance if the poor electorate chooses a 'wrong' one, there is some intricate, hidden, a bit treacherous yet absolutely correct and highly patriotic system of elimination for such dirty eggs.

To be fair, Pakistan is in the midst of a war. A war of narratives and mindsets. We have absolutist, elitist and self righteous lot. We have people on the other side of fence who vouch for democracy, free thinking, freedom of choice but they also champion mediocrity and incompetence. Tough choices, eh ....

So the weak-hearted cave in, in the favor of the mighty ones. Why take pains to go through the excruciatingly painful, patience-demanding and unforeseeably long path of setting things in their right order. It is really testing to let the system mature, take shape and jell in properly. We are much like the child who sows a seed in a pot and then digs it every day to see why it has not sprouted yet. We just keep digging the frail and fragile seed of democracy and then wonder, "Why aren't we getting the fruits of democracy"? Should we call it sweet and simple or idiotic and vile? Well people standing on that side of narrative fence cover the whole spectrum; from simpletons to vicious conspirators.

So where do we really stand? Still at square one or have we covered few inches at snail’s pace? Few paces on ground and materially speaking, may be; but the war of mindsets is hitting its ugliest battlegrounds just yet. We are far from maturity, stability and consensus on fundamentals as a nation. We need serious social scientists, philosophers and thought givers who may guide us through turbulent times ahead. People, who would selflessly dedicate their lives to study, research and analyze the complicated and deep rooted issues of Pakistani society, politics and governance. They can be many with differing opinions but if they are intellectually honest then they can surely save the day for the nation.

However, having said that no single messiah can rescue the whole nation. Even thought givers can suggest directions. They are not magicians or soothsayers, no one is! Sooner or later, by love or hate, WE as individuals shall have to realize that it is the collective wisdom of the whole nation which carries a country forward. No single person or a group of hidden few can rescue the country. It is the collective wisdom, manifested by postulates of democracy which ultimately translates into welfare, upbringing and progress of society.

I can only pray that sanity prevails among the masses and especially those few who hold the strings of virtually every character playing its role on the stage of politics.

Pakistan Zindabad!!

آج جانے کی ضد نہ کرو

آج جانے کی ضد نہ کرو، یونہی پہلو میں بیٹھے رہو 

ہاے مر جایئں گے ہم تو لٹ جایں گے ، ایسی باتیں  کیا نہ کرو 

حبیب ولی محمّد (مرحوم ) ، گیت غزل کے میٹھے اور دھیمے گلو کار- آپ پیشہ ور گائک تو نہ تھے مگر سنجیدہ اور با قاعدہ تربیت یافتہ گلو کار تھے - بلکہ اگر یہ کہا جاۓ کہ بیشتر پیشہ ور گلو کاروں سے بہت بہترتھے تو غلط نہ ہو گا - آواز خدا داد تھی جس پہ تربیت و ریاض سے سلجھاؤ اور نکھار پیدا ہو گیا تھا - اس تحریر کا مقصد محض حبیب ولی صاحب کے حالات زندگی رقم کرنا نہیں بلکہ اس عہد کا نوحہ لکھنا مقصود ہے جو اب تقریباً بیت چکا - وہ لوگ جو گزشتہ صدی کی دوسری، تیسری اور چوتھی دہائی (١٩٢٠ تا ١٩٤٩)  میں پیدا ہوے تھے ، اب اس جہانِ فانی میں گویا نایاب ہیں -

 زمیں کھا گئی آسماں کیسے کیسے 

میں جس پیڑھی کا ذکر کر رہا ہوں یہ میرے والدین اور ان کے ہم عصروں کی پیڑھی ہے (یا تھی)-  یہ لوگ عمر میں ملکِ پاکستان سے عموماً بڑے یا چند ہی سال چھوٹے تھے - اس دور کے نمایاں لوگوں میں سے اکثر اب اس دنیا میں نہیں ھیں - کچھ چیدہ چیدہ افراد جو ذہن میں آ رہے ہیں ان میں محمّد علی ، مہدی حسن ، معین اختر ، احمد فراز ،عبید اللہ بیگ ، قریش پور، اشفاق احمد ، ڈاکٹر اسرار احمد ، محمّد خان جونیجو، فاروق لغاری ، غلام اسحاق خان ، حمید گل ، نصیر اللہ بابر اور بہت سے ایسے نام - ضیاءالحق اور ذوالفقارعلی بھٹو بھی در اصل اسی نسل کے نمایندہ تھے- زندوں میں ضیاء محی الدین، ندیم بیگ ، افتخار عارف، غازی صلاح الدین،بانو قدسیہ ، اسلم بیگ اور دیگر حضرات کے نام ذہن میں ابھرتے ہیں - یہ وہ لوگ تھے جنہوں نے ستر تا نوے کی دہائیوں میں اپنے عروج و کمال کے جوہر دکھائے - یوں لگتا ہے کہ جیسے ایک پرانی نسل اگلی نسل کے لئے میدان خالی کر رہی ہے- وقت آ رہا ہے کہ میں اور میرے ہم عصر کچھ کر دکھائیں اور لوح ایام میں اپنے بناۓ نقوش ثبت کر چھوڑیں، کیونکہ ظالم وقت جلد ہی بساطِ کار پاؤں تلے سے کھینچنے والا ہے - ہمارے نوحے بھی جلد ہی لکھے جانے  والے ہیں لہٰذا کچھ عمل ،کچھ سوچ اور کچھ جہدِ خاص درکار ہے - گو کہ پاکستان کے معارضِ وجود میں آنے کے فوری بعد کی پیڑھی اس وقت عنانِ کار سنبھالے هوئے ہے لیکن اپنا وقت بھی گویا آ ہی چکا ہے -

خیر بات کہاں سے شروع ہوئی اور کہاں جا پہنچی - ذکر ہو رہا تھا ان لوگوں کا جن کے ہاتھوں میں ہم پل بڑھ کے یہاں تک پہنچے - ان لوگوں کا ایک اپنا رکھ رکھاؤ ، طور طریقہ تھا - یہ لوگ زندگی، کام اور پیشہ ورانہ امور میں انتہائی سنجیدہ اور محنتی تھے -ان میں سے اکثر منہ میں چاندی کا چمچ لے کے پیدا نہیں هوئے تھے بلکہ بہت روکھی پھیکی اور جاں فشاں جد و جہد کے بعد کسی مقام تک پہنچے تھے- شاید ملکی سطح پر جہاں ہم پاکستان کو دیکھنا چاہتے ہیں ، یہ لوگ وہاں تک تو اسے نہ پہنچا سکے لیکن کم از کم اپنے آنے والوں کو اس قابل ضرور کر گئے کہ وہ اس ملک کی حالت بدل سکیں - مالی بدیانتی کا مرض ان لوگوں میں موجود ضرور تھا لیکن اس شدت ، کمال اور عموم کے ساتھ نہیں جتنا کہ ان سے فوری بعد آنے والوں میں پایا گیا - 

یہ سب باتیں ایک طرف ، حقیقت یہ ہے کہ بزرگوں کا چلے جانا جہاں خود کے بڑے ہو جانے کا عندیہ ہے وھیں چھتنار چھاؤں سے نکل کر تیز چمکتی دھوپ میں آ کھڑے ہونے کا سندیسہ بھی ہے - یہ سندیسہ یہ پیغام عمر کے ایک سخت عہد کے آغاز کا پروانہ ہے - ہونی ہو کے رہتی ہے اور وقت اپنا پہیہ گھما  کے چھوڑتا ہے لیکن دلِ مضطر جب والدین ، بزرگوں اور اکابر کے رخصت ہونے پہ ملول ہوتا ہے تو بے اختیار یہی کہہ اٹھتا ہے ......... آج جانے کی ضد نہ کرو!

Dictionary Redefined

Here is a much needed redefinition of some words and terms, especially in Pakistani context. The interpretations are of course biased albeit true:

Corruption: Whatever Nawaz Sharif and/or PML-N does; humanly acts such as coughing, burping [after Siri Paye], farting [even more Siri Paye] also come under the definition IFF done by the said person or group

Gems [of wisdom]: Whatever Imran Khan and/or PTI says or does; Gems like 'اوے فلانے ', 'گیلی شلوار ' and saintly acts such as semi-nude jogging, getting stoned, faking degrees etc. are also included

Heroic: Whatever Raheel Shareef does; making Dr. Asim talk being the pinnacle of heroism

Purification: The mental, spiritual and financial state one attains upon joining PTI

Experience: What PML-N already has, PTI is learning and PPP has exhausted (read as) "The technique to attain power through whatever means available and to stay in power despite so many blunders"

Khattak Dance: Luckily it does not need a redefinition, it is still the dance which Khattaks do

Khattak Dancers

Dancing Khattak

Fair Elections: The ones in which PTI wins

Election Fraud: Irregularity

Constitutional Amendment: Piece of paper which makes us cry but we still sign it [and cry some more]

Weight: Something which Altaf Bhai gains physically but loses politically

Poker Face: PM's face

Why-So-Serious?

Bol [Speak up]: Shut up

Impotent: Umpire's finger

Social Media: Hub of [mis]information

License to abuse and ridicule: Social media

Container: Contains humans for political trafficking; also used as make shift dance party stage

Air Ticket: Jahangeer Tareen

DJ: That excessive bill sender who fore-goes a fortune in the name of love

Good Governance: Making underpass, even beneath an underpass 

Power Generation: Passed on to 'next generation'

Royal Profession: Poultry

Hunger Games: Raids of Punjab Food Authority

Certified Joker: TV Anchor, Talk-show host/participant

TV Anchor: A person certified for anything BUT TV anchoring

Selfie Master(s): Ahmad Shehzad, Shahid Afridi, Narendar Modi

Appendix: Shaikh Rasheed (redundant yet there)

Striker [who never misses]: A young doctor

Gwadar: Dubai's Worst Nightmare

Financial Policy: 1001 ways of indirect taxation

PM: The one who appoints COAS

COAS: The one who [may] keep(s) PM in power till the next appointment

Return to [political] innocence

Just yesterday I stumbled upon one of the many FM channels sharing the airwaves of Lahore on different frequencies. That particular channel was airing "good" old songs of Ibrar ul Haq and his all famous Billo de Ghar . Wow, what a flashback of memories it brought. Teenage, rising pop music culture in Pakistan and the fun and frolic we used to have with that particular song. Above all the untainted and non-political image the artists and singers, in particular, used to enjoy back then.
Move the clock forward some twenty years or so and our Billo-Boy has said adios to Billo-Rani and has become a political firebrand. Now you can't listen to his music with same ease and apolitical musical pleasure [especially if you happen to be on the wrong side of the political divide].
Politicization of youth, women, artists, players, preachers [ahem] and whoever can cast a vote is sign of a healthy and thriving democratic society BUT aren't we carrying the wave of politicization too far. Why listening to a singer unwillingly shifts your mind to his political inclinations? Why a Kurta store reminds you of an emerging political force. A soapy model is an [un]tamed tigress of a political outfit.
From the politicians point of view it is a big success to be able to turn icons of daily life into political symbols but what about the fabric of society in general. A normal, peaceful society cannot stay at war with itself for too long. Either the 'war' will wither away or the society won't stay 'normal' and 'peaceful'. There is actually no harm in having a political point of view and every grown up should in fact have one but again should it be so highly pronounced and openly advertised that your prime identity which earned you a popular, respectable place in society gets over-shadowed by your political affinities???
I personally feel that professionals [in general] should maintain a certain degree of apolitical demeanor. Especially if you are a popular, known figure in your own right then do maintain that image. Let your political affiliations be a part of your personality and a reflection of your inner thoughts but don't impose your political philosophy on your not-for-political-reasons fans. This will eventually tarnish your own celebrity charisma and isn't that the thing celebs vouch for so vehemently?

Taliban Talk[ie]s : My Own Pre-Conditions

With such a hullaballoo around for talks, their team, our team, pre-conditions blah blah…. Here is a much sane solution which I’m going to propose. I’ll wholeheartedly support Taliban If they…..

• Promise to re-open YouTube, so that we [and rest of the world] can watch those beheading videos with much ease and better quality.
• Award ten [or more] lashes to all those westernized, jeans-clad, bay-purdah and bay-hooda [yet appealing] women [… who refuse to have coffee with me (and rather have it with some infidel named Karan)].
• Chummi Khalid should be returned to Awan tribe [Me being Malik Awan has nothing to do with it].
• Plant those “drone chips” in NATO trucks, so that when they strike, they strike their own freight.
• Declare AFIC to be a sub jail of GITMO. [Karma you know]
• Pak Army should be restricted to DHAs only, be disarmed and be allowed to deal in real estate only. [I have a feeling that this demand has already been met .. but I need to re-check]
• Ask Iftikhaar Chaudhry to write “I Love Mush” for each suo-moto notice he took. [Paper and pen industry will flourish thus]
• Send Arslan Ifitikhar on a trip to Monte-Carlo with Bannu-DI-Khan jail breakers and all those pardoned by his dad’s court [and let Malik sb. sponsor it ... again]. (Everybody needs a break, so do Taliban)
• Impose a same-sex-marriage on Chaudhary Nisar and Malik Riaz.
• Appoint Pervaiz Khattak as the Japphhee (جاپھی) of Pakistan’s National Kabaddi team and he’ll show who the real Pehelwan (wrestler) is! [Ranay pe Rana]
• Force Maulana to wear a turban made out of denim (and designed by Diesel). [I know this one is cheeky :p ]
• Let Ansar Abbasi torture NFP by reading out ten Siparas to him daily.
• Arrange a cage fight between Orya Maqbool Jan and Zaid Hamid. Just to add a little fun they must be the commentators of their own fight.
• Shaikh-ul-Islam’s speeches and activities should be ‘contained’ but allow him to run for the next pope. [Reminds me of Rehman Malik somehow]

Contained

• Ban all those talk shows and behead their anchors who conduct solo shows featuring Sheikh Rasheed. [That rids us of 75% talk show airtime, 90% of talk shows and 99% of anchors  ... yeah!]
• Allow PTI to open offices in North Waziristan and make sure Dr. Mazari is appointed there.
• Design a special talking-chamber where the subject to be tortured is forced to listen to long distance calls of drunken-exPat-Politicians 24/7 [and put you-know-who in it :p ].
• Fly Main Sb to Jeddah without making any fuss or getting any papers signed [this time].
• Re-decide the fate of NA-125, however this time (instead of polling) a tug of war should be held between Saad Rafiq and All-the-Aunty-Bachee-crowd-of-defence (My Mother-in-Law and Wife included). [Tug of war: like they hold in Punjab Youth Festivals and to add insult to injury Guinness Book Reps must witness]
• Nominate Baji Maryum as the sole guarantor of the whole loan scheme (Kaisa!) and make her pay the interest too!!
• Shahbaz Shareef must continue as Khadim-e-Aala: We really need some more flyovers and metro buses [plus he must be given HakeemUllah-Ludhianvi peace award for successfully maintaining truce with the buddies ;)].
• Rana SanaUllah’s Moustaches should be clean shaved for bearing an Un-Islamic outlook and the unreasonably extra space they occupy. [This will not be a vendetta for making a 180 degree shift on buddies and (almost) declaring war on ‘southern support base’]
• Do unto Bilawal as you guys do unto such boys. (Haaaawwww) [However Bilawal might reply "Marsoo marsoo **nd na desoo"]

           And last but not the least [in fact the most important]:

•  Declare Immi [the savior; the last and only hope of this wretched nation] to be our prime minister for life and if he refuses this time, to be on your team … ‘upload’ him on YouTube [hence you know why I want YouTube reopened …. Muuhahahaa  MUHAHAHAHA…. ].

Immi the Savior

The [un]Holy War

Devour devour

Flesh and blood

Innocent and weak

Irrelevant yet prominent

Kill and kill

As sacrifices you must

Present to the gods

Of your own creation

The gods of your ego

gods of your whims

Don’t leave any place

Unstained and clean

Be it a mosque

Of infidels

Or a pub

Where pious flaunt

Let it be

A soldier or student

A politician or beggar

Kill them all

Kill them everywhere

Why did the chicken cross the road????

So here is the current political version of the question ... :)

Nawaz Shareef: Because it had to cross the road .. for the third time
Imran Khan: It is not a chicken, it is a tsunami crossing the road .. can't you see oye son of a tiger
Altaf Hussain: If the chicken won't cross the road and join us .. it will be found in a body bag on the other side
Shujaat Hussain: Well lets forget about this road crossing and chickens... Mitti pao
Musharraf: Because the chicken is NOT afraid of anyone (oops but it was caught the moment it crossed the road :p)
Shahbaz Shareef: Chicken doesn't need to cross the road any more because we have constructed an underpass
Khwaja Saad Rafique: Why are these chickens not crossing the road .. they are sitting right in the middle of the road, in a dharna
TTP: Only those chickens can cross the road whom we shall allow
Zardari: The chicken can cross the road only if it pays my cut
Gen Kyani: The chicken doesn't intend to cross the road any more
CJ: I have taken notice of the chicken crossing the road (Won't spare the damn chicken)
Obama: Send the drones before it crosses the road

A Message From the Director

Just to give you the background there is a university in Lahore, Pakistan which we remember by the name of FAST-NU. As it is known the faculty and management at the university and this particular campus is a bit old fashioned and remains concerned about ethics and values (yeah that endangered species). Although some even doubt their own moralities but lets not get into that right now.
It so happened that the director of the said campus circulated an email to the students, guiding them in terms of their behavior, especially with regards to male-female interaction. Here is the message in original:

Now that seems pretty clear and simple to me but as we are a vibrant society of differing opinions a friend of ours raised concerns about this message in an alumni mailing list. His exact concerns are as follows:

As I came to know that Arshad Hussaib Sb. is also on this group, simple concerns from my side..

Mohtarram,

• Why there is no designated person/persons to circulate this/any rule to students keh apko apnay hee dast-e-mubarak say email karni parti hai?
• Secondly, what the hell was that? I mean there are infinite ways of showing concern on these issues, why FAST management always has to scare students?
• and with due respect.. urmmm.. challein rehnay dein iss say agay koi baat keee to out of respect ho jani hai.. :S :)

Incidentally I am also teaching at the same university these days and more interestingly I am teaching professional issues and ethics to the students hence I find it appropriate (sort of necessary) to add my two cents. Therefore I have composed a message on behalf of the director. Let this be an example to all directors and academic heads, of how to address a sensitive issue like this. Here it comes:

My Dearest Students,

I was just thinking about few things lately and well I am a bit upset about some of them. I don't know how to say this but being the director I must say this (please excuse me if I hurt someone). Ideally some PA or administrator should have sent this but you know, you can't really trust these guys, because they become so rude. Therefore I decided to talk to you instead. So I was saying that there are few matters of concern vis-a-vis campus behaviour is concerned. 

(Ah! this is so difficult). 

1) You know generally its not a very good idea to get too close to someone from the opposite sex. Oh please don't think that I am blaming you people, not the least. Its just that sometimes, may be due to lack of sitting space (or if no one is around) male and female students unknowingly and out of sheer innocence make some kind of contact (in the physical sense I mean). Again I'm extremely embarrased myself having said these words. (If any of you feels offended just ignore this mail). But my humble request is that please try not to do this in future. (Some fanatic has placed security cameras in the campus and if God forbid anyone is caught I won't be able to do much to save him&her)

2) Secondly, again this must be due to some sheer negligence of the university, students are sometimes forced to sit in the corridors and/or stairs. You know I really feel that students must be allowed to do whatever they like on the campus but again people start pointing fingers at the management, faculty and above all the student body (my beloved students). So for the sake of sheer love and concern I have for my students please don't sit in the corridors/stairs. You'll make your director really proud by NOT doing this.

I hope you get my point and please don't take it personally. Still I apologize in advance if someone feels bad about it. But you see we are like a family and being the head, I must bring issues to the table. But please don't think that I don't trust you, its just the hard part of being a director. I hope you understand my position too.

Lovingly yours,

The Director of F@$T

The 'New' Party in Punjab

So MQM is finally here [in Punjab]. They mean business and they will probably stay. Will they 'smile and conquer', that needs to be seen? The reaction towards MQM's arrival is mixed as one can imagine and its a natural one. MQM has few good things to brag about lately (e.g. Mustafa's Kamals) but they also carry a certain baggage (rather body bags :p). The biggest hurdles in their way are probably these:


The Leadership
Like most political parties in Pakistan MQM too does not have a clean image vis-a-vis leadership. Looks of Rajnikanth mixed with strengths of Dawood Ibrahim, speckled with humor of a street comedian gives us the top man of MQM. He is none other [possible till he is alive] than the most hilarious, the master of remote controls and the biggest user of long distance phones ... iiiiits Altaaaaaf Husseeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiin (Tha tha, dhishon dhishon, dhazz dhazz). It will be naive (and a bit dangerous too) to say that MQM should change their leader if they want to be a serious national political player. However, since in Pakistan a lot gets forgotten, we can easily forget about the past of Altaf bhai, although the party still needs to manage the image of their leader.


B&B
This can mean bed and breakfast, bread and butter (Beavis & Butthead may be) in ordinary circumstances but when it comes to MQM, B&B can also mean 'Bhatta' (بھتہ) and 'Body Bags'.  Also include MS and SC. You can guess these acronyms while you are reading this post, the answers are given at the end. Again this image needs to be managed and these words should never be heard in public, "Since the arrival of MQM street crimes in Punjab have risen". Whether it is done by hooligans hired by Q-League to get fingers pointed at MQM or Shahbaz Sharif forms a special cell of Punjab Police to commit crimes in the name of MQM; if for once this image gets reinforced in the minds of Punjabi public, the consequences will be detrimental for MQM.


Ethnic Bias
MQM has been a party which has thrived more on creating and encouraging, ethnic biases and differences among people. It has never been seen as a uniting force. It has safeguarded the interest of the ethnic group it initially represented by establishing a dominance by force rather than being a messenger of peace and understanding among various ethnic groups. Do I sound too sweet here? Okay please forgive me, I also know how things get done around here but whats wrong in saying nice and sweet things (looks nice written in a blog post). The arrival in Punjab itself indicates a shift in the overall party policy however there is a fair chance that in Punjab too MQM adopts a few down trodden ethnicities and then struggles their (bloody) way to get those ethnicities both their fair and unfair share. The convention speech of Altaf bhai did have some hints to it, when he talked about Siraiky belt and South Punjab. Will MQM be a fore runner and a clean political player in Punjab OR will it play the usual hold-on-gunpoint-and-get-things-done game?


Now lets come to the good things which the arrival of MQM may signify in Punjab. To begin with it is by and large a good and positive gesture by a political party who was strictly taken as an ethnic party to move towards the national horizon. This step in itself can strengthen the unity and integrity of federation. It also indicates that the political party has come of age and is mature enough to think beyond just their own 'Gali Mohalla'. 
Secondly the timing of this move could not have been any better. The government of PPP has miserably failed to address the problems of common man. Mian Sab the great is as usual intoxicated by heavy doses of 'Siri-Paya', 'Nihari', 'Hareesa' ..... (and the list goes on). He is practicing shooting these days and has chosen his own foot as a target. In short the most naive way in which PML-N is cooperating with PPP for whatever noble reasons of  stabilizing the system and strengthening democracy, the impression going out to the already fed up public is that PPP and PML-N are partners in crime. People ARE waiting for a third option. Yes, the same third option for which Captain Khan is fruitlessly trying for almost a decade but has failed so far. My short message to Captain Khan is that has he ever reached the masses in the way MQM did in their convention. Altaf can pull crowds while sitting thousands of miles away but why has Khan failed to connect with people he lives among?
My perception as of now and today is that if MQM plays its cards wisely and cleanly they do have a chance. Folks they can pose a serious threat to Mians, Chaudhris and Ghosts of Bhutto. But will they drop their baggage and come out clean or is it their bread and butter?? (Oh! that B&B thing again!!!)


(MS: Mobile Snatching
SC: Street Crime)

The Kyrgyzstan Model?

Are we [in Pakistan] heading towards an anarchy? Or are we just in the middle of one? Lets have a look:

1. Army is already busy in an almost full scale war in the traditionally safe and secure western border areas (talking of the border tribal belt itself). Much worse they are fighting within the borders. The insurgents/miscreants are after all the citizens of Pakistan and the "collateral damage" kills our own innocent people and ruins the country's infrastructure. When the army men lay their lives, it weakens our own army and the thought of killing a Muslim brother demoralizes our men (especially in lower ranks), who are motivated by the concept of 'Jihad'. Not to mention the issues of IDPs and the hatred that is bred by such operations in the hearts of local population. Military operation might have been inevitable but we are yet to see its required outcome and pacification of the local population (our brethren) for whatever material and emotional damages they suffered. 
2. Those tribal areas in which our own army is not engaged, the ever notorious US drones are operating and killing the ones spared by the ground forces. Just goes on to add insult to injury. 
3. Move a little up north in the same region and we have a new kind of upheaval. There are people who are out to prove Shakespeare wrong, "Whats in a name". Ask someone living in Hazara [division] and he/she will tell you, its all about the name. Rest of their province is celebrating the change of name [of their province] from NWFP to Khyber-Pakhtoonkhwa. 
4. Then lets take into account the cities of Peshawar, Rawalpindi, Lahore and few others at the same time. Here the bravadoes, from those areas mentioned in the first paragraph, equipped with twisted religious interpretations and lots of explosives go for bombing sprees that kill security forces men and the innocent civilians alike. 
5. Then we have a local version of IRA .. which we call BLA (Balochistan Liberation Army). 
6. To add further spice we have an acute shortage of electricity. On one hand it is ruining the business, industry, employment opportunities, peace of mind and smooth running of daily lives, on the other hand it is tarnishing the image of government and deeming it as a failed entity. Thirdly it has also brought the angry common people on the streets. 
7. Things were already quite "smooth" when our "beloved" neighbor also jumped in to "lend a hand". They are blocking the waters of our rivers by building .. DAM[N]s. Resultantly we are having a short fall of irrigation water as well. It also aggravates the power crisis.
8. Soon we are going to have a new wave of inflation when a proposed 15% VAT on products across the board and 6% rise in electricity prices comes into effect. The streets will be filled with protesters again. I mean those streets that were spared by an insurgency, bomb blast, celebration/protest for/against the name of a province, bomb blast, protest against shortage of essentials (other than oxygen), bomb blast, protest just for the heck for it, bomb .......

In above paragraphs I have listed some of the most major and mostly internal problems that come to the mind of an ordinary Pakistani. Not to mention the more deeper and complex issues at the national and foreign fronts. Now if we consider the uprising in Kyrgyzstan it was mainly due to rise in heating and electricity tariff, coupled with usual ills of corruption and nepotism. Whereas is Pakistan we have multiple issues. Issues that are much more complex, deeper and grave. Hence we can safely conclude that Pakistan is NOT heading towards a Kyrgyzstan-like uprising. Being a nation of creative, sovereign, original and independent people we'll do something in our own right. (باقی الله خیر ہی کرے - آمین )

Admiring Taliban (God Help Me)

Well as the title suggests, this post is not for weak hearts, people with no sense of humour, adults under the mental age of 7 and proponents of freedom of speech. Wait a minute did I say proponents of freedom of speech, well thats what I said. Normally those who advocate freedom of speech mean, freedom of 'their' version of speech and admiring Taliban may not conform to their concept of free speech. Only anti-religious and blasphemous stuff qualifies for that (pun intended).
Anyway all I wanted to say was that these Taliban guys are really dashing. I mean they have a rugged, rustic, macho and chauvinistic air about them. They look so manly. Now honestly if we take our regular, cleanly-shaven, trying-to-look-bad Hollywood icons and any Talib walking down the FATA hills; who would look more manly and bad. I got you there didn't I; because we all agree that Taliban are more BAD. But I was emphasizing manliness here (Ahem).
Okay now lets make a side by side comparison. Lets compare Mr. Rambo with (Late) Nek Mohammad. Just for the record, Nek Mohammad was probably the first victim of a US drone operating on the wrong side of the border.

Oh by the way for the record once again, Mr. Rambo also had the honor of fighting in Afghanistan against the Commies alongside (the then called) Mujahideen. How time changes!
Coming back to the point. Now guys (and especially girls) please leave all your biases aside and tell me whose your man?
No, didn't impress you. Okay then lets try Taliban vs. Bollywood. Here we go:

Here we have Mr. Salman Khan (Sallu G) versus Hakeem Ullah Mehsud (the newly appointed TTP chief, believed to be already dead by some). Now both of them are 'BAD' in their own ways but whose more manly? The earring clad guy with an aura of stupidity OR the really dangerous guy on the right (side of the column). Please also keep in mind that Taliban are a species that are really hard to photograph. Ask any Nat Geo photographer whats easy to catch on film, the tonsils of a living African Lion or the turban of dead Taliban and he's sure to choose the African version. Unless you get abducted by them (Taliban I mean) its really hard to photograph them. In fact when one does get abducted its Talibaan who 'shoot' the photographer, with all those exotic settings and props. On the other hand the filmy guys are meant to be photographed. They use all means possible to improve their looks whereas Taliban may spend the least of their time in front of a mirror. But still I guess they manage to steal (rather kidnap) the show.
Now all those self-righteous, forward-looking and liberal-minded folks might be thinking, whats the point of this whole post. Well folks, there is no point in this post, it was just for laughs. Humour doesn't have to 'politically correct'. If it can make you laugh it has done the job. Got my point now??? :)

At Imran Khan's Rally

On the eve of 3rd July, 2009, Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaaf (PTI) organized a protest rally on the monumental Mall Road (Shahrah-e-Quaid-e-Azam) of Lahore.
protest was against acute power shortage, a sudden rise of prices in petroleum products (that will trigger an across the board price hike) and unemployment. The issues are indeed the most burning ones faced by Pakistan today. I'm sorry but terrorism, religious extremism, Talibanization etc. does hurt me but NOT as much as these things do. A suicide bomber is a real threat but he would rather kill me in an instant, however the above stated issues will leave me lurching somewhere between life and death, a much more painful ordeal. To get killed by a bomber is NOT a priority here .. its plain sarcasm. But lets leave that debate for a later occasion.

I later learnt that Jamaat-e-Islami (JI) also organized similar rally on that very day at about the same location, few hours before this particular event. PTI and JI are two political groups that opted to boycott last years' general elections. It is good to see that they are playing their role in national politics one way or the other. I wish these political forces join hands for these issues and make a united front to get them resolved, just like they did for the "Chief Justice" issue.

Anyhow coming back to the rally. The rally was properly organized and had lot of party workers and a representation of women too. However, one thing which I was looking for and was utterly lacking was the educated youth and the white collar middle class. The workers present there were the typical paid party workers. Not saying that they shouldn't be there but my image of PTI was a bit different. A friend of mine who is a party member and comes from an educated background was there at the rally but he too was watching the event from the sidelines like me. But lets not draw any conclusions from these observations at this point in time.

Imran Khan joined in the rally later on and as is natural the crowds were electrified by his presence. The procession then marched on towards WAPDA House where Imran Khan had to make a speech. The numbers out there in the procession were quite plausible. According to my most conservative estimate there were 2 to 3 thousand people in that rally. News items from national dailies about the event are also attached.

The News

Express News

Strange Behaviour of a Dog

When I was a lad of 13-14 I used to have a pet dog. I called him DoDo. Not that he resembled any bird or something, it just sounded nice to me. Dodo was an interesting character. Like most of the pets he picked up some human habbits. However once he showed a really peculiar behaviour. I don't know if he picked it from humans .. or its the humans who pick it from them (the dogs i mean).
Once I took Dodo for a walk in the park. It so happened that another dog was also there in the park and was rather big, at least bigger than my Dodo. The devil barked at him and tried to challenge him. Dodo behaved as if nothing had happend, as if he did'nt hear anyone barking. I urged him to pick a fight but he just ignored. I was a bit disappointed.
Anyhow when I came home our 'brave' Dodo stumbled upon a dust bin with some papers in it and boy he went mad on the dust bin. He tore apart the papers, barked at it and bit the dust bin too. As if he was showing that he is a ferocious creature and once angered can go to any limits to tear apart his rival. This behaviour really amused me and my family. He was probably trying to overcome the embarassement he faced in the park, due to the other dog. Well, interesting story, isn't it, but whats the point? Ah forget the point and why must I always try to make a point. However, read these news items and make a point yourself .. if you can!!!
COAS [Gently] Asks US to Stop Drone Attacks
Striking Down Drones Could Trigger War, says Rao Qamar
And Lastly,
COAS Flies F-16, Takes Part in Operation

The Puppet Show

"Dehshat Khan" sitting somewhere in his cave, oiling his guns and listening to 'FM' radio. His mind is crystal clear about his deeds and beliefs. No shadow of doubt or an attempt of self analysis ever crosses his mind. His religious thought deeply entwined with his local customs is devoid of sane religious and worldly thought. He acts fearlessly and even, mercilessly.

Captain "Hero Malik" trained in the elite army school, filled with pride and sense of superiority. His organization is the "most honest" and "patriotic" institution of the country. Obeying his superiors is not just his professional etiquette, its his way of life. He never flinches before he acts upon what is ordered. He too, never thinks before and after any command he carries out. The success of mission, his primary goal and the integrity of his deeds, never shaken or even questioned.

Be it Dehshat Khan or Capt. Hero Malik, both seem to be just puppets. With their strings in the hands of a puppeteer. What do we know about their puppet masters, they are behind the scenes. Do they have a same puppet master? Or they have different masters who sometimes shake hands and sometimes just stay aloof. What do we know? We are just watching the puppet show, where Dehshat Khan and Capt. Hero Malik are trying to fight the hell out of each other. Their masters are orchestrating the show perfectly and we, are just watching the show ... just watching the show!!!

Where are we heading?

Shortage of power, rising prices, rising insurgencies, less water for irrigation, a starkly divided society, "friendly" yet hostile neighbours, religious extremism, liberal fascism, terrorist attacks, dwindling economy, subjugation to foreign masters ..... the list goes on.
Should we all seek immigrations to first world destinations? Should we just leave this "mess"? Should we stop thinking and just keep believing the "official truth"? Should we just "talk" about it and forget the next moment? Should we keep living the way we do or try to change ourselves inside out? Should we just forget about it? Should we lose hope?
To walk away is easy, to let go is simple .. the struggle to survive is daunting.
Nobody knows where the destiny will take us? But the question is where are we heading as individuals, as citizens of Pakistan and as Muslims loyal to Allah and His Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)?
Where are we heading???