Pakistan: Where Do We Stand After 70 Years

Well well, there we are again. Pakistani politics going one step forward and two steps back. We just refuse to grow up politically, institutionally and yes democratically. It requires a serious anthropological study as to why, we are like that. I mean like the way we are which is bizarre and abnormal to say the least. Even after 70 years of our genesis we are still not sure what kind of political system we want. In recent years, may be a decade or so, being supporter of democracy has somewhat emerged as a fad. However, it is not that simple. A segment of our society wants democracy but it must be "controlled". Much like a remote control plane which gives a semblance of a free flight in the air but is actually controlled by someone on ground. Someone who is stable, not corrupt, sincere, sane, educated (ahem) and a true patriot. Because the free flying elected representatives are devoid of all such traits and to top it all the electorate is not mature and educated enough, yet, to choose the right candidates. So, we need someone to tell us from time to time that who is a right choice and who isn't. By chance if the poor electorate chooses a 'wrong' one, there is some intricate, hidden, a bit treacherous yet absolutely correct and highly patriotic system of elimination for such dirty eggs.

To be fair, Pakistan is in the midst of a war. A war of narratives and mindsets. We have absolutist, elitist and self righteous lot. We have people on the other side of fence who vouch for democracy, free thinking, freedom of choice but they also champion mediocrity and incompetence. Tough choices, eh ....

So the weak-hearted cave in, in the favor of the mighty ones. Why take pains to go through the excruciatingly painful, patience-demanding and unforeseeably long path of setting things in their right order. It is really testing to let the system mature, take shape and jell in properly. We are much like the child who sows a seed in a pot and then digs it every day to see why it has not sprouted yet. We just keep digging the frail and fragile seed of democracy and then wonder, "Why aren't we getting the fruits of democracy"? Should we call it sweet and simple or idiotic and vile? Well people standing on that side of narrative fence cover the whole spectrum; from simpletons to vicious conspirators.

So where do we really stand? Still at square one or have we covered few inches at snail’s pace? Few paces on ground and materially speaking, may be; but the war of mindsets is hitting its ugliest battlegrounds just yet. We are far from maturity, stability and consensus on fundamentals as a nation. We need serious social scientists, philosophers and thought givers who may guide us through turbulent times ahead. People, who would selflessly dedicate their lives to study, research and analyze the complicated and deep rooted issues of Pakistani society, politics and governance. They can be many with differing opinions but if they are intellectually honest then they can surely save the day for the nation.

However, having said that no single messiah can rescue the whole nation. Even thought givers can suggest directions. They are not magicians or soothsayers, no one is! Sooner or later, by love or hate, WE as individuals shall have to realize that it is the collective wisdom of the whole nation which carries a country forward. No single person or a group of hidden few can rescue the country. It is the collective wisdom, manifested by postulates of democracy which ultimately translates into welfare, upbringing and progress of society.

I can only pray that sanity prevails among the masses and especially those few who hold the strings of virtually every character playing its role on the stage of politics.

Pakistan Zindabad!!

Dictionary Redefined

Here is a much needed redefinition of some words and terms, especially in Pakistani context. The interpretations are of course biased albeit true:

Corruption: Whatever Nawaz Sharif and/or PML-N does; humanly acts such as coughing, burping [after Siri Paye], farting [even more Siri Paye] also come under the definition IFF done by the said person or group

Gems [of wisdom]: Whatever Imran Khan and/or PTI says or does; Gems like 'اوے فلانے ', 'گیلی شلوار ' and saintly acts such as semi-nude jogging, getting stoned, faking degrees etc. are also included

Heroic: Whatever Raheel Shareef does; making Dr. Asim talk being the pinnacle of heroism

Purification: The mental, spiritual and financial state one attains upon joining PTI

Experience: What PML-N already has, PTI is learning and PPP has exhausted (read as) "The technique to attain power through whatever means available and to stay in power despite so many blunders"

Khattak Dance: Luckily it does not need a redefinition, it is still the dance which Khattaks do

Khattak Dancers

Dancing Khattak

Fair Elections: The ones in which PTI wins

Election Fraud: Irregularity

Constitutional Amendment: Piece of paper which makes us cry but we still sign it [and cry some more]

Weight: Something which Altaf Bhai gains physically but loses politically

Poker Face: PM's face

Why-So-Serious?

Bol [Speak up]: Shut up

Impotent: Umpire's finger

Social Media: Hub of [mis]information

License to abuse and ridicule: Social media

Container: Contains humans for political trafficking; also used as make shift dance party stage

Air Ticket: Jahangeer Tareen

DJ: That excessive bill sender who fore-goes a fortune in the name of love

Good Governance: Making underpass, even beneath an underpass 

Power Generation: Passed on to 'next generation'

Royal Profession: Poultry

Hunger Games: Raids of Punjab Food Authority

Certified Joker: TV Anchor, Talk-show host/participant

TV Anchor: A person certified for anything BUT TV anchoring

Selfie Master(s): Ahmad Shehzad, Shahid Afridi, Narendar Modi

Appendix: Shaikh Rasheed (redundant yet there)

Striker [who never misses]: A young doctor

Gwadar: Dubai's Worst Nightmare

Financial Policy: 1001 ways of indirect taxation

PM: The one who appoints COAS

COAS: The one who [may] keep(s) PM in power till the next appointment

Return to [political] innocence

Just yesterday I stumbled upon one of the many FM channels sharing the airwaves of Lahore on different frequencies. That particular channel was airing "good" old songs of Ibrar ul Haq and his all famous Billo de Ghar . Wow, what a flashback of memories it brought. Teenage, rising pop music culture in Pakistan and the fun and frolic we used to have with that particular song. Above all the untainted and non-political image the artists and singers, in particular, used to enjoy back then.
Move the clock forward some twenty years or so and our Billo-Boy has said adios to Billo-Rani and has become a political firebrand. Now you can't listen to his music with same ease and apolitical musical pleasure [especially if you happen to be on the wrong side of the political divide].
Politicization of youth, women, artists, players, preachers [ahem] and whoever can cast a vote is sign of a healthy and thriving democratic society BUT aren't we carrying the wave of politicization too far. Why listening to a singer unwillingly shifts your mind to his political inclinations? Why a Kurta store reminds you of an emerging political force. A soapy model is an [un]tamed tigress of a political outfit.
From the politicians point of view it is a big success to be able to turn icons of daily life into political symbols but what about the fabric of society in general. A normal, peaceful society cannot stay at war with itself for too long. Either the 'war' will wither away or the society won't stay 'normal' and 'peaceful'. There is actually no harm in having a political point of view and every grown up should in fact have one but again should it be so highly pronounced and openly advertised that your prime identity which earned you a popular, respectable place in society gets over-shadowed by your political affinities???
I personally feel that professionals [in general] should maintain a certain degree of apolitical demeanor. Especially if you are a popular, known figure in your own right then do maintain that image. Let your political affiliations be a part of your personality and a reflection of your inner thoughts but don't impose your political philosophy on your not-for-political-reasons fans. This will eventually tarnish your own celebrity charisma and isn't that the thing celebs vouch for so vehemently?

Why did the chicken cross the road????

So here is the current political version of the question ... :)

Nawaz Shareef: Because it had to cross the road .. for the third time
Imran Khan: It is not a chicken, it is a tsunami crossing the road .. can't you see oye son of a tiger
Altaf Hussain: If the chicken won't cross the road and join us .. it will be found in a body bag on the other side
Shujaat Hussain: Well lets forget about this road crossing and chickens... Mitti pao
Musharraf: Because the chicken is NOT afraid of anyone (oops but it was caught the moment it crossed the road :p)
Shahbaz Shareef: Chicken doesn't need to cross the road any more because we have constructed an underpass
Khwaja Saad Rafique: Why are these chickens not crossing the road .. they are sitting right in the middle of the road, in a dharna
TTP: Only those chickens can cross the road whom we shall allow
Zardari: The chicken can cross the road only if it pays my cut
Gen Kyani: The chicken doesn't intend to cross the road any more
CJ: I have taken notice of the chicken crossing the road (Won't spare the damn chicken)
Obama: Send the drones before it crosses the road

The 'New' Party in Punjab

So MQM is finally here [in Punjab]. They mean business and they will probably stay. Will they 'smile and conquer', that needs to be seen? The reaction towards MQM's arrival is mixed as one can imagine and its a natural one. MQM has few good things to brag about lately (e.g. Mustafa's Kamals) but they also carry a certain baggage (rather body bags :p). The biggest hurdles in their way are probably these:


The Leadership
Like most political parties in Pakistan MQM too does not have a clean image vis-a-vis leadership. Looks of Rajnikanth mixed with strengths of Dawood Ibrahim, speckled with humor of a street comedian gives us the top man of MQM. He is none other [possible till he is alive] than the most hilarious, the master of remote controls and the biggest user of long distance phones ... iiiiits Altaaaaaf Husseeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiin (Tha tha, dhishon dhishon, dhazz dhazz). It will be naive (and a bit dangerous too) to say that MQM should change their leader if they want to be a serious national political player. However, since in Pakistan a lot gets forgotten, we can easily forget about the past of Altaf bhai, although the party still needs to manage the image of their leader.


B&B
This can mean bed and breakfast, bread and butter (Beavis & Butthead may be) in ordinary circumstances but when it comes to MQM, B&B can also mean 'Bhatta' (بھتہ) and 'Body Bags'.  Also include MS and SC. You can guess these acronyms while you are reading this post, the answers are given at the end. Again this image needs to be managed and these words should never be heard in public, "Since the arrival of MQM street crimes in Punjab have risen". Whether it is done by hooligans hired by Q-League to get fingers pointed at MQM or Shahbaz Sharif forms a special cell of Punjab Police to commit crimes in the name of MQM; if for once this image gets reinforced in the minds of Punjabi public, the consequences will be detrimental for MQM.


Ethnic Bias
MQM has been a party which has thrived more on creating and encouraging, ethnic biases and differences among people. It has never been seen as a uniting force. It has safeguarded the interest of the ethnic group it initially represented by establishing a dominance by force rather than being a messenger of peace and understanding among various ethnic groups. Do I sound too sweet here? Okay please forgive me, I also know how things get done around here but whats wrong in saying nice and sweet things (looks nice written in a blog post). The arrival in Punjab itself indicates a shift in the overall party policy however there is a fair chance that in Punjab too MQM adopts a few down trodden ethnicities and then struggles their (bloody) way to get those ethnicities both their fair and unfair share. The convention speech of Altaf bhai did have some hints to it, when he talked about Siraiky belt and South Punjab. Will MQM be a fore runner and a clean political player in Punjab OR will it play the usual hold-on-gunpoint-and-get-things-done game?


Now lets come to the good things which the arrival of MQM may signify in Punjab. To begin with it is by and large a good and positive gesture by a political party who was strictly taken as an ethnic party to move towards the national horizon. This step in itself can strengthen the unity and integrity of federation. It also indicates that the political party has come of age and is mature enough to think beyond just their own 'Gali Mohalla'. 
Secondly the timing of this move could not have been any better. The government of PPP has miserably failed to address the problems of common man. Mian Sab the great is as usual intoxicated by heavy doses of 'Siri-Paya', 'Nihari', 'Hareesa' ..... (and the list goes on). He is practicing shooting these days and has chosen his own foot as a target. In short the most naive way in which PML-N is cooperating with PPP for whatever noble reasons of  stabilizing the system and strengthening democracy, the impression going out to the already fed up public is that PPP and PML-N are partners in crime. People ARE waiting for a third option. Yes, the same third option for which Captain Khan is fruitlessly trying for almost a decade but has failed so far. My short message to Captain Khan is that has he ever reached the masses in the way MQM did in their convention. Altaf can pull crowds while sitting thousands of miles away but why has Khan failed to connect with people he lives among?
My perception as of now and today is that if MQM plays its cards wisely and cleanly they do have a chance. Folks they can pose a serious threat to Mians, Chaudhris and Ghosts of Bhutto. But will they drop their baggage and come out clean or is it their bread and butter?? (Oh! that B&B thing again!!!)


(MS: Mobile Snatching
SC: Street Crime)

At Imran Khan's Rally

On the eve of 3rd July, 2009, Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaaf (PTI) organized a protest rally on the monumental Mall Road (Shahrah-e-Quaid-e-Azam) of Lahore.
protest was against acute power shortage, a sudden rise of prices in petroleum products (that will trigger an across the board price hike) and unemployment. The issues are indeed the most burning ones faced by Pakistan today. I'm sorry but terrorism, religious extremism, Talibanization etc. does hurt me but NOT as much as these things do. A suicide bomber is a real threat but he would rather kill me in an instant, however the above stated issues will leave me lurching somewhere between life and death, a much more painful ordeal. To get killed by a bomber is NOT a priority here .. its plain sarcasm. But lets leave that debate for a later occasion.

I later learnt that Jamaat-e-Islami (JI) also organized similar rally on that very day at about the same location, few hours before this particular event. PTI and JI are two political groups that opted to boycott last years' general elections. It is good to see that they are playing their role in national politics one way or the other. I wish these political forces join hands for these issues and make a united front to get them resolved, just like they did for the "Chief Justice" issue.

Anyhow coming back to the rally. The rally was properly organized and had lot of party workers and a representation of women too. However, one thing which I was looking for and was utterly lacking was the educated youth and the white collar middle class. The workers present there were the typical paid party workers. Not saying that they shouldn't be there but my image of PTI was a bit different. A friend of mine who is a party member and comes from an educated background was there at the rally but he too was watching the event from the sidelines like me. But lets not draw any conclusions from these observations at this point in time.

Imran Khan joined in the rally later on and as is natural the crowds were electrified by his presence. The procession then marched on towards WAPDA House where Imran Khan had to make a speech. The numbers out there in the procession were quite plausible. According to my most conservative estimate there were 2 to 3 thousand people in that rally. News items from national dailies about the event are also attached.

The News

Express News