Dictionary Redefined

Here is a much needed redefinition of some words and terms, especially in Pakistani context. The interpretations are of course biased albeit true:

Corruption: Whatever Nawaz Sharif and/or PML-N does; humanly acts such as coughing, burping [after Siri Paye], farting [even more Siri Paye] also come under the definition IFF done by the said person or group

Gems [of wisdom]: Whatever Imran Khan and/or PTI says or does; Gems like 'اوے فلانے ', 'گیلی شلوار ' and saintly acts such as semi-nude jogging, getting stoned, faking degrees etc. are also included

Heroic: Whatever Raheel Shareef does; making Dr. Asim talk being the pinnacle of heroism

Purification: The mental, spiritual and financial state one attains upon joining PTI

Experience: What PML-N already has, PTI is learning and PPP has exhausted (read as) "The technique to attain power through whatever means available and to stay in power despite so many blunders"

Khattak Dance: Luckily it does not need a redefinition, it is still the dance which Khattaks do

Khattak Dancers

Dancing Khattak

Fair Elections: The ones in which PTI wins

Election Fraud: Irregularity

Constitutional Amendment: Piece of paper which makes us cry but we still sign it [and cry some more]

Weight: Something which Altaf Bhai gains physically but loses politically

Poker Face: PM's face

Why-So-Serious?

Bol [Speak up]: Shut up

Impotent: Umpire's finger

Social Media: Hub of [mis]information

License to abuse and ridicule: Social media

Container: Contains humans for political trafficking; also used as make shift dance party stage

Air Ticket: Jahangeer Tareen

DJ: That excessive bill sender who fore-goes a fortune in the name of love

Good Governance: Making underpass, even beneath an underpass 

Power Generation: Passed on to 'next generation'

Royal Profession: Poultry

Hunger Games: Raids of Punjab Food Authority

Certified Joker: TV Anchor, Talk-show host/participant

TV Anchor: A person certified for anything BUT TV anchoring

Selfie Master(s): Ahmad Shehzad, Shahid Afridi, Narendar Modi

Appendix: Shaikh Rasheed (redundant yet there)

Striker [who never misses]: A young doctor

Gwadar: Dubai's Worst Nightmare

Financial Policy: 1001 ways of indirect taxation

PM: The one who appoints COAS

COAS: The one who [may] keep(s) PM in power till the next appointment